PAST CRIMES 1

Today, of all days, I just watch the flickering light on the SK. Its regular illumination another illumination of how it comes and goes, and I wish you would just go. I am told it takes the average person seven minutes to fall asleep, two hours later, I’m wishing I’m average for not the first time in my life. The quarter full prescription can be seen out of the corner of my eye over the curved horizon of my pillow. It’s been weeks since.

No one ever really forgives and no one ever really forgets. My transgressions were written against me long before we even met. Your mistrust and your walls were mortared by women who only deigned to love you. Your name burned in my ears, your eyes branded on the lids of mine so that even in sleep I can’t escape. I came to the realization that much of it was my fault. Demonizing does no good, when you roll over and open your eyes and awake to a day of guilt and the intense recognition that you were both fucked up. An awakening so severe that it physically burned within my chest. We can never go back.