Friday, January 29, 2010

we looked

He walked in and caught me in a moment of weakness, fingers locked, elbows resting on my knees, eyes in defeat. I was at a loss. He let me pretend everything was OK for a grand total of twenty seconds. He wasn't fooled, and that's why we remained as close as we are. "What?" His back was turned, opening a drawer and doing something. "I'm just so tired..." I said, looking at the ceiling. Even his back was too intimate to see. "So tired of what?" he missed nothing. "So tired of being the villain, when in reality, I'm the victim."


The cold, harsh laugh barked out of his throat in an uncharacteristic manner.

"I could have him killed."

I looked at my feet again. I didn't say no.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

well, it was what it was

I am so homesick. Every day for the last three weeks I've gotten in my car and looked west. For some reason I'm fixated on this place, this space I used to hate. Like someone or something there is going to save my life.

It's almost 11pm

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

better off alone together

The new Crime in Stereo song is really good. I like it a lot.

Life has caught me off guard in a multitude of ways.

I wish I had something more to say. I'm kind of caught up in experiencing though - versus reminiscing.

That chronic problem of breathing in what was instead of what is.

Monday, January 11, 2010


I haven't had internet in two weeks. What have I missed?